It’s now considered acceptable to respond to somebody’s message/call/email with nothing, something that we would never be able to do face to face.
Ghosting, or as she calls it, the “nothing gambit,” is disturbing because it compromises our ability to empathize. But whereas we might have before postponed dates, asked our friends to deliver the bad news, or at least picked up the phone to call it quits, the trend of going radio silent ushers in a new era.Īccording to MIT professor Sherry Turkle, there are consequences to our wishy-washy dating behaviors. To be sure, aversion to being cast in a negative light is nothing new-not by any stretch. As Claire Fallon writes in her Huffington Post article on the subject, “we have a become a nation of wafflers and avoiders, carefully evading even the most quotidian confrontation.” We don’t want to say “no” because we don’t want to disappoint and by abruptly ending communication we’re only vaguely letting people down.
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Could the problem be that we don’t know how to say “no”? Because we don’t really have to say it now that the fade-away technique is in vogue. Still, at the end of the day, many seem to feel that silence is better than having to deal with conflict. Ghosting comes with its own flavor of moral discomfort, with most ghosters stating that they feel at least a little guilty after the fact.
“The only thing worse than being broken up with,” writes author Heidi Priebe, “is realizing that someone didn’t even consider you worth breaking up with.” While ghostees are haunted by an insulting and unsatisfying lack of closure, ghosters aren’t necessarily getting off the hook pain-free. What hurts the most? According to this Thought Catalog article, it’s the indifference. In another less formal survey in Elle Magazine, 46 percent of men and 52 percent of women said they’d been ghosted at some time or other. This is done in the hopes that the ghostee will just ‘get the hint’ and leave the subject alone.” It’s pretty ubiquitous: a YouGov/Huffington Post Poll of 1,000 individuals showed that 11 percent had ghosted others and 13 percent had been ghosted themselves. They define ghosting as “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. Why is it, in an age where we’re all hyper-connected, we think it’s OK to practice the discourtesy of radio silence? Though it has been recognized as a bona fide word by the likes of The Huffington Post, The New York Times, Elle Magazine and Psychology Today, our best definition for the phenomenon comes from Urban Dictionary. Like this blog post? Sign up for our newsletter and never miss a post like this.Not interested? Don’t answer their texts, calls, messages … and definitely don’t give them a reason.
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If you liked this article, download our 10-codes one-page PDF document. You can also download our 10 codes one-page PDF. Below you will find a list of common 10-radio codes so you too, can talk like an expert. They were later expanded in 1974 by the Association of Public-Safety Communications Officials-International (APCO). They are especially popular among law enforcement officials including municipal and provincial police, as well as the RCMP. The codes were developed in 1937 and first used by the U.S. Ever wanted to know what it meant when someone said 10-4 on their two-way radio? 10-radio codes, or 10 signals, are used to represent common phrases.
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